It’s a little known fact that karaoke is Japanese for ‘drunken businessman’, and it is little known because it isn’t true… though pretty believable, right? Ever since it was thrust upon the West in the 1980s, the word which genuinely translates to ‘Empty Orchestra’—or empty bar if my mum gets behind the mic—has been the mainstay of lairy nights out, the curtain-down on Christmas parties, and, more recently, an ironic destination for hipsters. In honour of Companion’s Asia-inspired issue, we have stuck our fingers in our ears, downed a bravery drink, and sought out the best locations in 25h cities where you can sing your noggin off. 1-2-3-4…
1
Berlin
Monster Ronson’s
Here, the infamous Berlin Schnauze disappears as residents and visitors alike can cut loose in their own private box. The eight karaoke boxes with names like Jimi, Kurt, Freddie, Amy or Michael (where’s Iggy?!) can accommodate groups of up to six people. The boxes are primed for the spontaneous guests going against their better judgement, and cannot be reserved… much like the patrons.
Perfect song: David Bowie - Heroes Drink suggestion: Gin Martini (Bowie’s favourite drink)
Small but perfectly proportioned, this popular bar hosts regular karaoke nights. A fine bar with club character in the middle of the notorious Hans-Albers-Platz, this place also has a digital gaming table, plenty of dancing, and 20 different types of ‘Bombshots’, in case you either need some Dutch courage or are looking for an excuse not to walk up the steps to the stage.
Perfect song: The Beatles - Twist and Shout Drink suggestion: Whiskey and Fritz Cola
It’s safe to say that Northern Europeans prefer to cut loose in front of a carefully selected group of friends, and not strangers, because friends can’t boo you… especially when you can see the whites of their eyes. Simply rent a box of the right size together with your friends and you’re ready to go.
Perfect song: Kraftwerk - The Model Drink suggestion: Pilsner
This is a… um… notorious rite of passage for any Florentine, and doesn’t necessarily reflect the sophisticated, renaissance-infused beauty of the city… but would it be as fun if it did? One of the first American bars in Italy, serving American food with the addition of beer, and karaoke with the addition of a live guitar accompaniment? Without a doubt this is the second renaissance.
Perfect song: Florence and the Machine - You’ve Got the Love Drink suggestion: Negroni (invented in Florence)
The city of light’s reputation of quiet sophistication should all be forgotten on entering BAM. Okay, maybe there’s a little bit of design flair. Interiors are created by Pablo Peyra Studio, and there are hidden bars and also secret gardens. Don’t let these trinkets distract you from your tuneless warbling, however.
Perfect song: Charles Trenet - La Mer Drink suggestion: Absinthe
You can both wax on and wax off here at this popular twist on a karaoke bar, and with a potentially authentic nod to karaoke’s Asian origins, not only with the name, but also the Thai street food. Located in Dubai Media City, there is also beer pong, and a lot of puns. This for instance, from their website: ‘Tuk tuk into our pho-nominal dishes or have your world wok’d with our thai-tastic cocktail buckets. There soy good, you’ll be wonton more!’
This city is awash with Irish bars who do a good line in karaoke, but we’ve gone for The Cave, which offers both a public forum and private booths to subject the world to your wonderful voice—oh and great Indian food. And you can even request slots to sing by texting them on Whatsapp…
Austrians are nothing if not literal, and this place does what it says on the tin. ‘Come as a guest, leave as a friend’, they say, thought I would have added ‘unless you choose to sing Celine Dion’, and since this is apparently the oldest karaoke bar in good ol’ Vienna, they must be doing something right.
Perfect song: Ultravox - Vienna (the staff will love this as no one will have thought of it before) Drink suggestion: Old Fashioned
You’d think that sports fans and karaoke enthusiasts don’t mix (we should test this theory with a ‘World In Motion’ sing along), but Old Gregory Pub argues the contrary. Located on Langstrasse, which is already quite loud, this place adds to the noise, and you could be part of that beautiful din at one of their allegedly ‘legendary’ karaoke events.
Perfect song: Spandau Ballet - Gold Drink suggestion: Espresso Martini
The karaoke nights here have proven so popular that they now run four nights a week, usually starting at around 11:30pm after a live concert… you’ll be good and loose and ready for Meatloaf by then. From an extensive repertoire of around 32,000 songs from all styles and musical eras, everyone can choose the right song to perform (or massacre) on stage.
Perfect song: Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit Drink suggestion: Paloma (very fragrant)
This really is as classy as karaoke gets... How classy is that, you ask, we’ll leave that to you. Open all week til 3am, this pricier proposition even offers singers and dancers to accompany you in your ‘musical’ exploits, so you can feel that you’ve made the studio stage of American Idol even if you sound like a lawnmower sucking up a dog toy.
Perfect song: The Only living Boy in New Cross - Carter USM Drink suggestion: Mai Tai
