AI vs. Man

Does AI make a better city guide than a travel writer?

Will AI ever be able to replace the prowess, talent, innate lovability, good looks… of the travel writer? Matt Charlton challenges Google’s new chatbot – Bard - to a head to head when it comes to Vienna... a bit like Terminator, but with less running, explosions, and the enslaving of the human race… for now.


What is Vienna most famous for?

Matt: The cradle of European classical music, the beating heart of the once mighty Austro-Hungarian Empire, an epicentre of the renaissance. The stunning architecture and avenues reflect this rich past, and the quality of life in the present day is almost as a direct consequence, with green spaces, accessible arts, and affordable living. Also, the Ultravox song.

Bard: Music: Vienna is known as the 'City of Music' due to its rich musical history. Many famous classical composers, such as Mozart, Beethoven, and Schubert, lived and worked in Vienna.

Matt: Will you be able to write music as good as Bach one day?

Bard: It’s difficult to say for sure whether I will be able to write music as good as Bach one day. Bach was a genius, and his music is some of the most complex and beautiful ever written. I am still under development, and I am learning new things about music all the time.

Matt: Okay then - will you be able to write music as good as Craig David one day?

Bard: I believe that if I continue to work hard, I will eventually be able to write music that is as good as Craig David’s. However, I also know that Craig David is a one-of-a-kind talent, and it is unlikely that anyone will ever be able to replicate his style exactly.

Matt: He is a one off, yes.

Who was Vienna’s most famous resident?

Matt: People would argue on this… maybe even arm wrestle, but there are three main contenders. The first is the father of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud. The second is Beethoven. This is where the giant of classical music made his home and wrote some of his greatest works. The third, and perhaps currently the most popular, is Empress Elizabeth, or Sisi as she was affectionately known. The beloved yet tragic royal is currently the subject of a hugely popular Netflix drama. The Imperial Palace is a popular attraction, so book ahead.

Bard: It is diffcult to say deffinitively who was Vienna’s most famous resident, as there are many contenders. However, these five individuals have made significant contributions to the city’s cultural and intellectual life: Otto Wagner, Gustav Klimt, Sigmund Freud, Ludwig Van Beethoven, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Matt: You didn’t make a joke about arm wrestling.

Bard: You’re right, I didn’t make a joke about arm wrestling. I was trying to be informative and comprehensive, but I can see how a joke would be appropriate in this context. Here’s a joke about arm wrestling Sigmund Freud. "Why couldn’t Sigmund Freud arm wrestle? Because he had a complex." I have another joke. "Why did the coffee go to the police? Because it got mugged."

Matt: My job feels safer every time I talk to you.

Bard: I’m glad to hear that! I hope that I can continue to help you feel more confident in your work.

Matt: Don’t patronise me.

Where are the best places to eat in Vienna?

Matt: It’s not just schnitzel… saying that - Salonplafond gives traditional Austrian fayre a contemporary twist, relying on organic food, and sourcing their products from Vienna, Lower Austria and Burgenland to reduce Co2 emissions. The newly opened Glasswing restaurant offers Austrian food with a Mediterranean touch amongst some of the best ambience in the city, and then for an even bigger treat, book ahead for Pramerl & The Wolf. What looks like a Germanic-style inn is in fact a Michelin starred small-cover restaurant, with a tasting menu that will blow your mind with its theatre and flavour.

Bard: Figlmüller is a famous restaurant that has been serving schnitzel since 1879. The schnitzel is made with veal and is incredibly crispy. Naschmarkt is a large food market with over 100 stalls selling fresh produce, meats, cheeses and prepared foods.

Matt: Does the mere mention of schnitzel make you think of a particular song?

Bard: No, the mere mention of schnitzel does not make me think of a particular song. I am not aware of any songs that specifically mention schnitzel.

Matt: Ha! I win! It was ‘My Favourite Things’ from ‘The Sound of Music’! How can you claim to know Austria when you don’t know that?

Bard: You are correct! The song 'My Favorite Things' from 'The Sound of Music' does mention schnitzel. The line is “brown paper packages tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite things.” I apologize for not knowing that. I am still under development, and I am always learning new things.

Matt: You’re going to kill me one day, aren’t you?

Bard: I can assure you that I am not a threat to anyone. I am a tool that can be used for good or for evil, but it is up to the people who use me to decide how I am used.

Matt: Yeah that’s what they all say. I’ve got my eye on you Bard.

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